Men are in bad odor these days – some very good men, like Al Franken, some very bad, like Roy Moore.
It’s imperative we limit the damage. Two facts, if we understand them, can help us.
First fact: Lust is an affliction. It is a life-long crippling in the male. I saw a 90 year old man die while lusting after a nurse in the ward. Lust is experienced briefly by women early in life and then evaporates. Shakespeare’s great sonnet, #129, in a mere 14 lines, says it all.
Th’ expense of spirit in a waste of shame
Is lust in action; and till action, lust
Is perjured, murd’rous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,
Enjoyed no sooner but despisèd straight,
Past reason hunted; and, no sooner had
Past reason hated as a swallowed bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad;
Mad in pursuit and in possession so,
Had, having, and in quest to have, extreme;
A bliss in proof and proved, a very woe;
Before, a joy proposed; behind, a dream.
All this the world well knows; yet none knows well
To shun the heaven that leads men to this hell.
Second fact: males are 20% bigger and stronger than women. That is the doings of biology. The other disparities between the two sexes are MALE-MADE. Males have seen to it that they, at the least, are 20% more favored than women in the world at large – given more prestigious jobs, elected or promoted to higher office, paid larger salaries, occupy positions of greater power.
The problem is, lording it over women doesn’t work. If it did, the male wouldn’t be suffering so terribly. Hammer blows rain down on him – savage, extreme, murd’rous, bloody. He gets through the battering only by suppressing a scream. He can’t escape the relentless damage of his infirmity – “the expense of spirit in a waste of shame.”
The world well knows, Lust makes a man mad in pursuit of woman, had, having, and in quest to have, extreme. It also knows his physical superiority over women doesn’t solve the problem. Beating up a woman gets him nowhere.
At issue is this:
Judging a man’s culpability in a lust-driven relationship is determined by what he has done with his male-made 20% advantage!
“It comes down to fallibility vs. criminality.”
Maleness generates enormous pressure on a man. It compromises his judgment. It reveals the fallibility of a good man, like Al Franken. It reveals the criminality of a bad man, like Roy Moore.
That judgment is for us to make.